[ The guilt is eating him up just as much for not having spoken anything sooner. The shock of it hadn't quite worn off for some time, and he had been afraid of things ending when they had just begun. The thought of losing someone he'd come to love over the years they'd known one another... the thought of being seen differently... he had just gotten Dimitri to start using his name every once in a while.

He leans into Dimitri's hand as his expression finally crumbles from its usual passive visage to something genuinely hurt and worried. ]

I didn't want this to change.

[ He'd thought if he gave Dimitri his space, gave him room to grow and explore, to be with others, maybe he could at least find happiness elsewhere with someone he could grow old with. Maybe someone who could give him an heir.

But he's fooling himself thinking he'd be happy so long as Dimitri's happy.

His arms suddenly wrap around his waist as he pushes his face into the side of Dimitri's neck and simply inhales him. The thought of him with anyone else makes his chest ache even if he knows there's nothing they can do about it here, and the thought of separating permanently makes the backs of his eyes burn hotly. ]

Selfishly, I want you, no matter what. Sothis saved me when I was pulled into that other realm. We fused, we became one, but it's still me. Rhea may have wanted her to take control... but it's still me.

[ And he had nearly lost Dimitri too many times for his own comfort. ]

Stay.