[ Byleth doesn't know if there is a true answer to that. War has many sides, and soldiers die and suffer on either. Both fight for what they believe in, but one must eventually fall. He knows Dimitri wanted peace, and as far as he knows, Edelgard wanted vengeance against the Church. Given what he's learned about the Church, he can't entirely blame her.
He, too, felt anger learning about this past and how he came to be. But if not for Rhea's meddling, he also may have never come to the academy nor would he have changed after becoming the professor of so many wonderful students -now friends of his. One now his love. ]
Dimitri, none of us knew... Humans, your ancestors, they destroyed Rhea's kin for more power, and she retaliated by using their creations for her gain.
[ And using his own father and himself after... ]
All I know is, no matter what I am, it doesn't change how I feel about you.
[ Heart or no heart, he knows he's capable of feeling something for Dimitri. He doesn't know if it's reciprocated entirely, but he wants to believe there is a way for them to be together even if he'll have to bury Dimitri himself. Even if they won't have any heirs. Even if the world may look upon them with scorn. Even if Dimitri will have other lovers in time.
But those are all truths he'll have to accept just as Dimitri will have to accept the truth of Blaiddyd and the other Ten Elites. The truth of the crests. The truth of the dragons that walk amongst them. ]
[ He doesn't know how else to tell him how his feelings stand- but together with all of this, there's so much he has to think about. And yet...
And yet.
It's so much easier knowing all of this because he knows Byleth is here, with him, for him to take it all at all. And hearing those words...
He reaches out to take Byleth's hand, tugging him in close as he drops his head near his. Strange, how much smaller he feels against him, even if he's experienced Byleth just being- so much more to him. Like an embrace he never wants to break free of.
His face settling in against the side of his, he closes his eyes as he inhales and lets his thoughts melt against his. ]
I'm glad.
[ Simply, easily... ]
... because my feelings for you cannot be shaken, no matter what this place does, my beloved. I don't...
[ He holds him closer. ]
I don't want to be without you for even a moment. Not in thought, or presence... I want to stand by you no matter what we have to endure.
[ Even now, it's hard to let him go, but he does, slowly- enough to give Byleth some room before he looks into his eyes. ]
I'll speak to her, but when I am ready. If it is alright... I would rather focus on our time now. It's selfish... utterly selfish. But I don't want to be weighed down by things I cannot change while in a place we cannot escape.
[ He's had enough of feeling guilt and shame, and he will never stop feeling them. But if he can have his happiness, even for a moment... ]
... is that alright to want? With you?
[ Is he allowed to be at peace without Byleth doubting him, and without him doubting Byleth's feelings for him? ]
[ Byleth nods as he curls Dimitri's fingers with his own and brings the back of his hand to his mouth to kiss. Maybe one day they will be more than this just as they had become so much more than teacher and pupil. Maybe one day he will adorn this hand with something of meaning and worth.
Maybe one day he can call Dimitri his in every way.
The corners of his mouth lift as he holds Dimitri's hand for a moment longer, savoring the warmth and hoping he can emit the same. The revelation of being something more than human is still something he's trying to wrap his head around, having spent the bulk of his life simply being his father's son. He doesn't want to lose that connection between them, especially since the similarities he retains to Jeralt are few and far between. But if there's any way he can honor him and remember him, he would.
His father, more than everyone, wanted him to find someone he loves as deeply as he had loved his mother. If not for the circumstances surrounding his birth, they could have been happier together for longer. Byleth has a lot he still resents Rhea for, but killing her -taking vengeance- it wouldn't solve anything.
All he can do now is honor his father's last wish and savor this, hoping they'll find one another again when they return home. That even if they forget this memory, they won't forget how it made them feel. ]
It is. All I want is to know that you accept me as I really am. No more lies or words unspoken.
[ He has nothing left to hide from him, and hopefully, Dimitri feels the same. ]
Can we celebrate your birthday properly now? Stay. Eat with me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He, too, felt anger learning about this past and how he came to be. But if not for Rhea's meddling, he also may have never come to the academy nor would he have changed after becoming the professor of so many wonderful students -now friends of his. One now his love. ]
Dimitri, none of us knew... Humans, your ancestors, they destroyed Rhea's kin for more power, and she retaliated by using their creations for her gain.
[ And using his own father and himself after... ]
All I know is, no matter what I am, it doesn't change how I feel about you.
[ Heart or no heart, he knows he's capable of feeling something for Dimitri. He doesn't know if it's reciprocated entirely, but he wants to believe there is a way for them to be together even if he'll have to bury Dimitri himself. Even if they won't have any heirs. Even if the world may look upon them with scorn. Even if Dimitri will have other lovers in time.
But those are all truths he'll have to accept just as Dimitri will have to accept the truth of Blaiddyd and the other Ten Elites. The truth of the crests. The truth of the dragons that walk amongst them. ]
no subject
And yet.
It's so much easier knowing all of this because he knows Byleth is here, with him, for him to take it all at all. And hearing those words...
He reaches out to take Byleth's hand, tugging him in close as he drops his head near his. Strange, how much smaller he feels against him, even if he's experienced Byleth just being- so much more to him. Like an embrace he never wants to break free of.
His face settling in against the side of his, he closes his eyes as he inhales and lets his thoughts melt against his. ]
I'm glad.
[ Simply, easily... ]
... because my feelings for you cannot be shaken, no matter what this place does, my beloved. I don't...
[ He holds him closer. ]
I don't want to be without you for even a moment. Not in thought, or presence... I want to stand by you no matter what we have to endure.
[ Even now, it's hard to let him go, but he does, slowly- enough to give Byleth some room before he looks into his eyes. ]
I'll speak to her, but when I am ready. If it is alright... I would rather focus on our time now. It's selfish... utterly selfish. But I don't want to be weighed down by things I cannot change while in a place we cannot escape.
[ He's had enough of feeling guilt and shame, and he will never stop feeling them. But if he can have his happiness, even for a moment... ]
... is that alright to want? With you?
[ Is he allowed to be at peace without Byleth doubting him, and without him doubting Byleth's feelings for him? ]
no subject
Maybe one day he can call Dimitri his in every way.
The corners of his mouth lift as he holds Dimitri's hand for a moment longer, savoring the warmth and hoping he can emit the same. The revelation of being something more than human is still something he's trying to wrap his head around, having spent the bulk of his life simply being his father's son. He doesn't want to lose that connection between them, especially since the similarities he retains to Jeralt are few and far between. But if there's any way he can honor him and remember him, he would.
His father, more than everyone, wanted him to find someone he loves as deeply as he had loved his mother. If not for the circumstances surrounding his birth, they could have been happier together for longer. Byleth has a lot he still resents Rhea for, but killing her -taking vengeance- it wouldn't solve anything.
All he can do now is honor his father's last wish and savor this, hoping they'll find one another again when they return home. That even if they forget this memory, they won't forget how it made them feel. ]
It is. All I want is to know that you accept me as I really am. No more lies or words unspoken.
[ He has nothing left to hide from him, and hopefully, Dimitri feels the same. ]
Can we celebrate your birthday properly now? Stay. Eat with me.