[ Byleth's reaction makes his heart race- he still finds it hard to believe that he was blessed with this man's love, that even now, with all the temptations of this place, he still desires him- broken and flawed as he is.
But he knew for certain when he went home- when his plea remained on his tongue, wanting, desperately for Byleth to see him as not just his former student or his friend, but as a man. As his beloved-
He knew it was right. He knew that this was the future he would walk into. His friends, all protected and safe- and Byleth, by his side.
It was as clear as day, as clear as the blessed being before him, and his fingers trace over his soft cheek before it's joined with his right hand, cupping Byleth's face in both palms. Leaning in close, he lowers himself to push his forehead against his, inhaling his soft and sweet scent before whispering- ]
I'm never far from you, Byleth. Know that to be true. Know that when we return, we'll find each other exactly like this.
[ It's his desperate plea to whatever gods remain and watch over them if they care- whatever fates allowed him to live and not perish the beast's death he's heard of in everyone else's accounts...
The thought is not only painful, but humbling, and he closes his eye, his grip growing firm. ]
It's our reality. None other matters. I know I want you to be happy here...
[ Is it right for him to feel his gut twisting and wrenched when he thinks of them with anyone other than each other? He'd come to accept it, and as luck would have it... his convincing himself that they would eventually be only one another's on their return was shown to him.
It's enough, even if he knows he has to bear the thought of this place twisting their wants and loves for their friends beyond what they should be.
His lips find Byleth's forehead, and his eyes, before he lifts his face to press a gentler, reassuring kiss to his mouth, his solitary eye watching Byleth's face in the moonlight. ]
You deserve the world. How could I hold you back when I can lay it at your feet? Knowing that you desire me this much- is all I need, Byleth.
[ Yet... ]
Will you forgive me for being weak and selfish right now? I wish to think of none other but you tonight.
[ If Byleth was with anyone else while he was gone, he doesn't want to hear it. For a little while. ]
I'm reassured that I will not lose you when we return. But I would like to be only yours for a bit longer... until we need to accept this place's ways again. Please.
[ Byleth's lips try and chase Dimitri's when they pull away before stopping just short of hearing his earnest plea. Does he still doubt how much he loves him after all this time? Does he still think he's not the only one he thinks of when he's alone? The one he dreams of, the one he touches himself to, the one he thinks of when he wakes up and before he falls asleep? Does he still believe that Byleth doesn't also want a future for the two of them? Heirs or no heirs. King, Archbishop, teacher, student, human, immortal... it doesn't matter.
He pushes himself up on his toes this time, adjusting his arms to loop around Dimitri's neck so he can feel the heat of his forehead with his own before he kisses him until his lips start to tingle and bruise. ]
You are mine. For more than just tonight.
[ Fingers burrow into the hair at the base of his neck as he kisses the corner of Dimitri's mouth next and whispers- ]
And I am yours. Always and forever.
[ It may as well be a marriage vow, though he doesn't need anything official to make it real and tangible. He already decided he would love him for the remainder of Dimitri's life and long after. No one else can compare to the way he had touched his life -showed him how to be human. The first one to make him really smile and laugh. The first one to make him feel like he had something more than an ancient stone in his chest.
He would give him the world in return. ]
Can I stay with you... every night?
[ He'd hesitated on asking unsure what the proper protocols are between nobles and commoners. Do kings even share their rooms? It probably doesn't matter. He'd gotten used to sleeping in Dimitri's bed rather quickly and being surrounded by the smell of him. It was the only thing that brought him any comfort while he'd been gone.
If it's improper, they'll break the rules. They've already challenged enough of them already by being together. ]
[ How could he doubt anything after an admission like that? He may be a fool, he may have been lost in his delusions, but it was this man who brought him back to what remained of himself.
It's his request that makes his eye widen in surprise for a brief moment, before he cups Byleth's face to scan it over, as though unsure if he heard right. ]
... are you asking to... move in with me? Here?
[ It's not something he's ever been against, and despite himself, he can't help but chuckle softly. ]
I'd assumed you'd... wished to keep your time with others separate. So I hadn't insisted... but I'd have lived with you from the very beginning, Byleth.
[ They are keeping things open, after all... he didn't want to come off as insecure. ]
[ Byleth shakes his head fast, not wanting to leave that impression with him. If anything- ]
I thought you wanted to be alone.
[ Dimitri had spent several months after their reunion brushing him off and skulking about on his own. Then they came here as Dimitri was starting to change, and Byleth hadn't wanted to rush into anything or push him before he was ready to share his life with him. There were also Dimitri's feelings for Claude and his feelings for Edelgard and the other Blue Lions to think about.
Maybe in trying to give him so much space, he may have made things worse and unintentionally convinced Dimitri that he didn't want to be with him. It's something he has to rectify now at all costs as he shifts position to clutch Dimitri's hand between his own. ]
I never lived alone before my father died. I had him. And the goddess.
[ The two of them left him on the same day, and he had nothing but an empty dorm to return to time and time again. Being here often reminded him that there was no one to greet him any longer, no breakfast grilled on a stick, or the scent of last night's ale clinging to his father's clothes. ]
I'd like ...to be family. One day.
[ If Dimitri would allow him. He'll spend every day left of Dimitri's life making up for all the days he was absent so long as he's the first person he greets every morning and the last one he sees before he falls asleep. ]
[ Had he not made it more than obvious he wanted to be near Byleth, every waking moment? He looks confused at the thought that he could have possibly, even accidentally implied that he didn't want to be with Byleth.
Though as he hears him out, he feels his eye widen in surprise, before his gaze softens and he moves his hands through Byleth's hair before moving in close and pressing his lips to his forehead. He lingers there, quiet and warmed by what he's saying- there's little in this world that he wouldn't do for this man before him, and he inhales his scent before replying: ]
You are my family and forever will be. I want to wake up every day to your beautiful smile, to begin my day seeing you and ending it with you. What you've given me, Byleth, is life.
[ He moves his kiss to his cheeks, lifting Byleth's face to make him look at him firmly. ]
I don't want to spend a moment away from you, my beloved. I know... I haven't the right to be jealous or upset here. This isn't the place for it, and it will forever challenge us. But you...
[ He pushes their foreheads together now, the night's chill feeling like nothing against the warmth of Byleth being this close to him. The fire in him is enough to brand itself in his very spirit, and he adds— ]
If I could have one selfish wish, it would be that you return home to me, just here. No matter who you find yourself with. And only while you're here- for when we return... when I seal our vows... I will never give myself to anyone but you until the end of my days.
[ It pains him to think of even the remotest possibility that it won't happen, and he pulls back enough to look into his eyes. ]
Why would you assume that I wanted to be alone here, when you'd broken my isolation and brought me back to the light before we even arrived here?
[ His hands release Dimitri's just so he can resume his embrace, tugging him back in and breathing in tandem with him. It feels so nice to hold him like this again, a feeling he never imagined himself becoming addicted to. But no one smells like him and no one is ever quite as warm. Maybe he needs to stop pretending he'll be fine without him if only three days of silence made it feel like whatever crest is holding his chest together had been suddenly torn out of him, leaving him to bleed out slowly.
He doesn't want to return to same despair and loneliness he felt after losing his father, but the first to rush by his side and give him comfort had been Dimitri. No one else makes him feel more alive and more human than him. ]
I was being careful, but it's not how I really felt. This is how I really feel.
[ He tightens his grip as if to emphasize his words and whatever other emotions that exist beyond what he can ever say to him. Hopefully, it will be enough this time to convince him he never wanted anything more than to stand by his side forever. ]
When we arrive home, I can show you this. I can show you all the other ways I feel for you.
[ His lips quirk at the vague attempt of being flirtatious, though he's still pretty terrible at it with his monotone and his deadpan expression. It doesn't help that Dimitri can be particularly thick-headed about other people's desires for him, making it something of a stroke of luck they even confessed to one another so soon after their arrival here. He'd have thought he would have to keep his own feelings locked up inside until Dimitri was a bit more mature in that area.
When he finally pulls away, he gives Dimitri's cape a tug so he can start to follow him, the crowds all but gone by now. A part of him thinks he should just let him rest, but maybe it's fine to be selfish a little more often rather than give Dimitri so many wrong ideas and fill him with more doubt.
Eventually, Dimitri will have to get it in his head that he loves him. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
But he knew for certain when he went home- when his plea remained on his tongue, wanting, desperately for Byleth to see him as not just his former student or his friend, but as a man. As his beloved-
He knew it was right. He knew that this was the future he would walk into. His friends, all protected and safe- and Byleth, by his side.
It was as clear as day, as clear as the blessed being before him, and his fingers trace over his soft cheek before it's joined with his right hand, cupping Byleth's face in both palms. Leaning in close, he lowers himself to push his forehead against his, inhaling his soft and sweet scent before whispering- ]
I'm never far from you, Byleth. Know that to be true. Know that when we return, we'll find each other exactly like this.
[ It's his desperate plea to whatever gods remain and watch over them if they care- whatever fates allowed him to live and not perish the beast's death he's heard of in everyone else's accounts...
The thought is not only painful, but humbling, and he closes his eye, his grip growing firm. ]
It's our reality. None other matters. I know I want you to be happy here...
[ Is it right for him to feel his gut twisting and wrenched when he thinks of them with anyone other than each other? He'd come to accept it, and as luck would have it... his convincing himself that they would eventually be only one another's on their return was shown to him.
It's enough, even if he knows he has to bear the thought of this place twisting their wants and loves for their friends beyond what they should be.
His lips find Byleth's forehead, and his eyes, before he lifts his face to press a gentler, reassuring kiss to his mouth, his solitary eye watching Byleth's face in the moonlight. ]
You deserve the world. How could I hold you back when I can lay it at your feet? Knowing that you desire me this much- is all I need, Byleth.
[ Yet... ]
Will you forgive me for being weak and selfish right now? I wish to think of none other but you tonight.
[ If Byleth was with anyone else while he was gone, he doesn't want to hear it. For a little while. ]
I'm reassured that I will not lose you when we return. But I would like to be only yours for a bit longer... until we need to accept this place's ways again. Please.
[ Tonight, he doesn't want to share. ]
no subject
He pushes himself up on his toes this time, adjusting his arms to loop around Dimitri's neck so he can feel the heat of his forehead with his own before he kisses him until his lips start to tingle and bruise. ]
You are mine. For more than just tonight.
[ Fingers burrow into the hair at the base of his neck as he kisses the corner of Dimitri's mouth next and whispers- ]
And I am yours. Always and forever.
[ It may as well be a marriage vow, though he doesn't need anything official to make it real and tangible. He already decided he would love him for the remainder of Dimitri's life and long after. No one else can compare to the way he had touched his life -showed him how to be human. The first one to make him really smile and laugh. The first one to make him feel like he had something more than an ancient stone in his chest.
He would give him the world in return. ]
Can I stay with you... every night?
[ He'd hesitated on asking unsure what the proper protocols are between nobles and commoners. Do kings even share their rooms? It probably doesn't matter. He'd gotten used to sleeping in Dimitri's bed rather quickly and being surrounded by the smell of him. It was the only thing that brought him any comfort while he'd been gone.
If it's improper, they'll break the rules. They've already challenged enough of them already by being together. ]
no subject
It's his request that makes his eye widen in surprise for a brief moment, before he cups Byleth's face to scan it over, as though unsure if he heard right. ]
... are you asking to... move in with me? Here?
[ It's not something he's ever been against, and despite himself, he can't help but chuckle softly. ]
I'd assumed you'd... wished to keep your time with others separate. So I hadn't insisted... but I'd have lived with you from the very beginning, Byleth.
[ They are keeping things open, after all... he didn't want to come off as insecure. ]
no subject
I thought you wanted to be alone.
[ Dimitri had spent several months after their reunion brushing him off and skulking about on his own. Then they came here as Dimitri was starting to change, and Byleth hadn't wanted to rush into anything or push him before he was ready to share his life with him. There were also Dimitri's feelings for Claude and his feelings for Edelgard and the other Blue Lions to think about.
Maybe in trying to give him so much space, he may have made things worse and unintentionally convinced Dimitri that he didn't want to be with him. It's something he has to rectify now at all costs as he shifts position to clutch Dimitri's hand between his own. ]
I never lived alone before my father died. I had him. And the goddess.
[ The two of them left him on the same day, and he had nothing but an empty dorm to return to time and time again. Being here often reminded him that there was no one to greet him any longer, no breakfast grilled on a stick, or the scent of last night's ale clinging to his father's clothes. ]
I'd like ...to be family. One day.
[ If Dimitri would allow him. He'll spend every day left of Dimitri's life making up for all the days he was absent so long as he's the first person he greets every morning and the last one he sees before he falls asleep. ]
no subject
[ Had he not made it more than obvious he wanted to be near Byleth, every waking moment? He looks confused at the thought that he could have possibly, even accidentally implied that he didn't want to be with Byleth.
Though as he hears him out, he feels his eye widen in surprise, before his gaze softens and he moves his hands through Byleth's hair before moving in close and pressing his lips to his forehead. He lingers there, quiet and warmed by what he's saying- there's little in this world that he wouldn't do for this man before him, and he inhales his scent before replying: ]
You are my family and forever will be. I want to wake up every day to your beautiful smile, to begin my day seeing you and ending it with you. What you've given me, Byleth, is life.
[ He moves his kiss to his cheeks, lifting Byleth's face to make him look at him firmly. ]
I don't want to spend a moment away from you, my beloved. I know... I haven't the right to be jealous or upset here. This isn't the place for it, and it will forever challenge us. But you...
[ He pushes their foreheads together now, the night's chill feeling like nothing against the warmth of Byleth being this close to him. The fire in him is enough to brand itself in his very spirit, and he adds— ]
If I could have one selfish wish, it would be that you return home to me, just here. No matter who you find yourself with. And only while you're here- for when we return... when I seal our vows... I will never give myself to anyone but you until the end of my days.
[ It pains him to think of even the remotest possibility that it won't happen, and he pulls back enough to look into his eyes. ]
Why would you assume that I wanted to be alone here, when you'd broken my isolation and brought me back to the light before we even arrived here?
no subject
He doesn't want to return to same despair and loneliness he felt after losing his father, but the first to rush by his side and give him comfort had been Dimitri. No one else makes him feel more alive and more human than him. ]
I was being careful, but it's not how I really felt. This is how I really feel.
[ He tightens his grip as if to emphasize his words and whatever other emotions that exist beyond what he can ever say to him. Hopefully, it will be enough this time to convince him he never wanted anything more than to stand by his side forever. ]
When we arrive home, I can show you this. I can show you all the other ways I feel for you.
[ His lips quirk at the vague attempt of being flirtatious, though he's still pretty terrible at it with his monotone and his deadpan expression. It doesn't help that Dimitri can be particularly thick-headed about other people's desires for him, making it something of a stroke of luck they even confessed to one another so soon after their arrival here. He'd have thought he would have to keep his own feelings locked up inside until Dimitri was a bit more mature in that area.
When he finally pulls away, he gives Dimitri's cape a tug so he can start to follow him, the crowds all but gone by now. A part of him thinks he should just let him rest, but maybe it's fine to be selfish a little more often rather than give Dimitri so many wrong ideas and fill him with more doubt.
Eventually, Dimitri will have to get it in his head that he loves him. ]