[ In this moment, Byleth seems so much smaller and vulnerable than he's ever seen him, and that alone makes him wrap his arms tightly around his body. Mercenary or Professor, he's always fit so well in his hold that it's like he belongs there. And more than that—
He's been the one to stand by him and return him to the light. How could he continue to be so blind while his beloved suffered this loneliness, this pain of knowledge that he too, cannot comprehend enough...
I didn't want this to change....
The way Byleth looks right then tears him up inside, and he pulls him into his arms without another word, his hand rising to bury his fingers in the hair on the back of his head. Lightened and radiant, that shock of spirituality and divine etched in the strands—
He pushes his lips against his jaw and kisses him, before he replies, firm in his reassurance. ]
I know it's you. I've never doubted it, Byleth.
[ Fused with a goddess or not... he squeezes Byleth close as he tries to sort out his thoughts. ]
I don't know why you'd think anything would change. I'd already seen you return from an impossible situation before. I've seen you make miracles happen. Why wouldn't I believe that you are still the same man I love beyond anyone else?
[ He can feel his heart sink as he keeps Byleth close. ]
No matter who we're with here, no matter our feelings... in the end, I'd still come back to you, beloved. Because I'm yours.
[ He's not a Dimitri from another path. He's his Dimitri. Carefully peeling himself back but not too far to be separated from the heat and warmth of his body, Dimitri brings his hand back to cup Byleth's cheek. ]
Nothing would change who you are. I would follow you to the very end, my love. I promised you that, and I hold that promise even now. You are Byleth. My Byleth. Why would you not believe me when I said it the first time?
[ He smiles faintly, wanting him to see that even if this is hard to process, he means every word. ]
It's not wise for a professor to not listen, is it?
[ His lips quirk at the edges as he touches the back of Dimitri's hand with his own, fingers molding their way along his, flesh to flesh. He should have had more faith that Dimitri would not have minded even if he still has plenty of preoccupations himself. He's not sure what this will mean for them in the future or when they return to their own world. He's not even sure what would happen were his body to go back into the same slumber that kept him out of Dimitri's life for five years. If he disappeared again and woke up to a changed world, his heart would break. He doesn't want to miss out on any other important moments, especially in Dimitri's life.
But all he can do now is trust that fate will allow them to be together. Otherwise, he'll spend his life rewinding events just so he could spend more time in his company. ]
You are mine, too, Dimitri.
[ Words he'd held on his tongue for too long. He's glad to give them life now as he doesn't want to hide anything more from him, no matter how difficult. He may not be completely human, but their bond anchors him, keeps him grounded. ]
There is something else. The truth about you and your friends.
[ It's important he also share this with him now as it may change their perception and how they come to view the crests from here on out. He knows there's a lot that Dimitri would have trouble forgiving as far as Rhea is concerned -Byleth already has a difficult time trusting her- but he should know all sides of the story before he makes any judgments. ]
Sothis and her children lived in Zanado, but they were slain by humans. Their bones and their hearts formed the relics and the crests you now wield, inherited by the Ten Elites who took them. Rhea -no, Seiros-... she wove her own tale.
[ Everything she had done had been in the name of vengeance and in order to see her mother, something he could sympathize with to an extent. If there was a way to bring his father back, he would have taken it, but not at the expense of others' livelihoods. ]
Talk to her.
[ It's important that, as king, he unravels those misconceptions himself. Byleth has his own opinions, but he'd rather they all made peace with the past so they could focus on building the future of Fódlan together. He'll also let Dimitri decide how he wants to break it to Felix and Sylvain, though they may already know. He hadn't yet asked them nor brought it up as he is aware their history with the crests is a lot more checkered than his own.
Before coming to the monastery, his crest had not even had much of an effect on him or his life. To think he could have gone on naively if he hadn't come across Dimitri and the other house leaders that day... ]
Something aches in his chest when he hears that, unsure of how to process that bit of information outside of just... hugging Byleth with joy. He was already hurting at the thought that Byleth had changed his mind, that he didn't want him or didn't see anything worth staying with any longer. And he honestly would not have blamed him either, especially after what he'd put everyone through.
Hearing that reaffirmation only makes him hold him close again, though—
What he hears next makes him look at him in surprise. ]
Rhea... is Seiros?
[ Did he hear that right? And the Ten Elites, the bearers of the crests that they all inherited.. what does that make them? He looks a bit lost as he stares at Byleth, unsure of what to think right now. ]
... Byleth— before I speak to her, if she's even willing to speak to me... what does this mean for us? For you and myself? If what you're saying is true, then haven't I been among those that have done you all wrong?
[ He's not even questioning it, Byleth has no reason to lie to him. He just wants to know what this means. ]
[ Byleth doesn't know if there is a true answer to that. War has many sides, and soldiers die and suffer on either. Both fight for what they believe in, but one must eventually fall. He knows Dimitri wanted peace, and as far as he knows, Edelgard wanted vengeance against the Church. Given what he's learned about the Church, he can't entirely blame her.
He, too, felt anger learning about this past and how he came to be. But if not for Rhea's meddling, he also may have never come to the academy nor would he have changed after becoming the professor of so many wonderful students -now friends of his. One now his love. ]
Dimitri, none of us knew... Humans, your ancestors, they destroyed Rhea's kin for more power, and she retaliated by using their creations for her gain.
[ And using his own father and himself after... ]
All I know is, no matter what I am, it doesn't change how I feel about you.
[ Heart or no heart, he knows he's capable of feeling something for Dimitri. He doesn't know if it's reciprocated entirely, but he wants to believe there is a way for them to be together even if he'll have to bury Dimitri himself. Even if they won't have any heirs. Even if the world may look upon them with scorn. Even if Dimitri will have other lovers in time.
But those are all truths he'll have to accept just as Dimitri will have to accept the truth of Blaiddyd and the other Ten Elites. The truth of the crests. The truth of the dragons that walk amongst them. ]
[ He doesn't know how else to tell him how his feelings stand- but together with all of this, there's so much he has to think about. And yet...
And yet.
It's so much easier knowing all of this because he knows Byleth is here, with him, for him to take it all at all. And hearing those words...
He reaches out to take Byleth's hand, tugging him in close as he drops his head near his. Strange, how much smaller he feels against him, even if he's experienced Byleth just being- so much more to him. Like an embrace he never wants to break free of.
His face settling in against the side of his, he closes his eyes as he inhales and lets his thoughts melt against his. ]
I'm glad.
[ Simply, easily... ]
... because my feelings for you cannot be shaken, no matter what this place does, my beloved. I don't...
[ He holds him closer. ]
I don't want to be without you for even a moment. Not in thought, or presence... I want to stand by you no matter what we have to endure.
[ Even now, it's hard to let him go, but he does, slowly- enough to give Byleth some room before he looks into his eyes. ]
I'll speak to her, but when I am ready. If it is alright... I would rather focus on our time now. It's selfish... utterly selfish. But I don't want to be weighed down by things I cannot change while in a place we cannot escape.
[ He's had enough of feeling guilt and shame, and he will never stop feeling them. But if he can have his happiness, even for a moment... ]
... is that alright to want? With you?
[ Is he allowed to be at peace without Byleth doubting him, and without him doubting Byleth's feelings for him? ]
[ Byleth nods as he curls Dimitri's fingers with his own and brings the back of his hand to his mouth to kiss. Maybe one day they will be more than this just as they had become so much more than teacher and pupil. Maybe one day he will adorn this hand with something of meaning and worth.
Maybe one day he can call Dimitri his in every way.
The corners of his mouth lift as he holds Dimitri's hand for a moment longer, savoring the warmth and hoping he can emit the same. The revelation of being something more than human is still something he's trying to wrap his head around, having spent the bulk of his life simply being his father's son. He doesn't want to lose that connection between them, especially since the similarities he retains to Jeralt are few and far between. But if there's any way he can honor him and remember him, he would.
His father, more than everyone, wanted him to find someone he loves as deeply as he had loved his mother. If not for the circumstances surrounding his birth, they could have been happier together for longer. Byleth has a lot he still resents Rhea for, but killing her -taking vengeance- it wouldn't solve anything.
All he can do now is honor his father's last wish and savor this, hoping they'll find one another again when they return home. That even if they forget this memory, they won't forget how it made them feel. ]
It is. All I want is to know that you accept me as I really am. No more lies or words unspoken.
[ He has nothing left to hide from him, and hopefully, Dimitri feels the same. ]
Can we celebrate your birthday properly now? Stay. Eat with me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He's been the one to stand by him and return him to the light. How could he continue to be so blind while his beloved suffered this loneliness, this pain of knowledge that he too, cannot comprehend enough...
I didn't want this to change....
The way Byleth looks right then tears him up inside, and he pulls him into his arms without another word, his hand rising to bury his fingers in the hair on the back of his head. Lightened and radiant, that shock of spirituality and divine etched in the strands—
He pushes his lips against his jaw and kisses him, before he replies, firm in his reassurance. ]
I know it's you. I've never doubted it, Byleth.
[ Fused with a goddess or not... he squeezes Byleth close as he tries to sort out his thoughts. ]
I don't know why you'd think anything would change. I'd already seen you return from an impossible situation before. I've seen you make miracles happen. Why wouldn't I believe that you are still the same man I love beyond anyone else?
[ He can feel his heart sink as he keeps Byleth close. ]
No matter who we're with here, no matter our feelings... in the end, I'd still come back to you, beloved. Because I'm yours.
[ He's not a Dimitri from another path. He's his Dimitri. Carefully peeling himself back but not too far to be separated from the heat and warmth of his body, Dimitri brings his hand back to cup Byleth's cheek. ]
Nothing would change who you are. I would follow you to the very end, my love. I promised you that, and I hold that promise even now. You are Byleth. My Byleth. Why would you not believe me when I said it the first time?
[ He smiles faintly, wanting him to see that even if this is hard to process, he means every word. ]
It's not wise for a professor to not listen, is it?
no subject
But all he can do now is trust that fate will allow them to be together. Otherwise, he'll spend his life rewinding events just so he could spend more time in his company. ]
You are mine, too, Dimitri.
[ Words he'd held on his tongue for too long. He's glad to give them life now as he doesn't want to hide anything more from him, no matter how difficult. He may not be completely human, but their bond anchors him, keeps him grounded. ]
There is something else. The truth about you and your friends.
[ It's important he also share this with him now as it may change their perception and how they come to view the crests from here on out. He knows there's a lot that Dimitri would have trouble forgiving as far as Rhea is concerned -Byleth already has a difficult time trusting her- but he should know all sides of the story before he makes any judgments. ]
Sothis and her children lived in Zanado, but they were slain by humans. Their bones and their hearts formed the relics and the crests you now wield, inherited by the Ten Elites who took them. Rhea -no, Seiros-... she wove her own tale.
[ Everything she had done had been in the name of vengeance and in order to see her mother, something he could sympathize with to an extent. If there was a way to bring his father back, he would have taken it, but not at the expense of others' livelihoods. ]
Talk to her.
[ It's important that, as king, he unravels those misconceptions himself. Byleth has his own opinions, but he'd rather they all made peace with the past so they could focus on building the future of Fódlan together. He'll also let Dimitri decide how he wants to break it to Felix and Sylvain, though they may already know. He hadn't yet asked them nor brought it up as he is aware their history with the crests is a lot more checkered than his own.
Before coming to the monastery, his crest had not even had much of an effect on him or his life. To think he could have gone on naively if he hadn't come across Dimitri and the other house leaders that day... ]
no subject
Something aches in his chest when he hears that, unsure of how to process that bit of information outside of just... hugging Byleth with joy. He was already hurting at the thought that Byleth had changed his mind, that he didn't want him or didn't see anything worth staying with any longer. And he honestly would not have blamed him either, especially after what he'd put everyone through.
Hearing that reaffirmation only makes him hold him close again, though—
What he hears next makes him look at him in surprise. ]
Rhea... is Seiros?
[ Did he hear that right? And the Ten Elites, the bearers of the crests that they all inherited.. what does that make them? He looks a bit lost as he stares at Byleth, unsure of what to think right now. ]
... Byleth— before I speak to her, if she's even willing to speak to me... what does this mean for us? For you and myself? If what you're saying is true, then haven't I been among those that have done you all wrong?
[ He's not even questioning it, Byleth has no reason to lie to him. He just wants to know what this means. ]
no subject
He, too, felt anger learning about this past and how he came to be. But if not for Rhea's meddling, he also may have never come to the academy nor would he have changed after becoming the professor of so many wonderful students -now friends of his. One now his love. ]
Dimitri, none of us knew... Humans, your ancestors, they destroyed Rhea's kin for more power, and she retaliated by using their creations for her gain.
[ And using his own father and himself after... ]
All I know is, no matter what I am, it doesn't change how I feel about you.
[ Heart or no heart, he knows he's capable of feeling something for Dimitri. He doesn't know if it's reciprocated entirely, but he wants to believe there is a way for them to be together even if he'll have to bury Dimitri himself. Even if they won't have any heirs. Even if the world may look upon them with scorn. Even if Dimitri will have other lovers in time.
But those are all truths he'll have to accept just as Dimitri will have to accept the truth of Blaiddyd and the other Ten Elites. The truth of the crests. The truth of the dragons that walk amongst them. ]
no subject
And yet.
It's so much easier knowing all of this because he knows Byleth is here, with him, for him to take it all at all. And hearing those words...
He reaches out to take Byleth's hand, tugging him in close as he drops his head near his. Strange, how much smaller he feels against him, even if he's experienced Byleth just being- so much more to him. Like an embrace he never wants to break free of.
His face settling in against the side of his, he closes his eyes as he inhales and lets his thoughts melt against his. ]
I'm glad.
[ Simply, easily... ]
... because my feelings for you cannot be shaken, no matter what this place does, my beloved. I don't...
[ He holds him closer. ]
I don't want to be without you for even a moment. Not in thought, or presence... I want to stand by you no matter what we have to endure.
[ Even now, it's hard to let him go, but he does, slowly- enough to give Byleth some room before he looks into his eyes. ]
I'll speak to her, but when I am ready. If it is alright... I would rather focus on our time now. It's selfish... utterly selfish. But I don't want to be weighed down by things I cannot change while in a place we cannot escape.
[ He's had enough of feeling guilt and shame, and he will never stop feeling them. But if he can have his happiness, even for a moment... ]
... is that alright to want? With you?
[ Is he allowed to be at peace without Byleth doubting him, and without him doubting Byleth's feelings for him? ]
no subject
Maybe one day he can call Dimitri his in every way.
The corners of his mouth lift as he holds Dimitri's hand for a moment longer, savoring the warmth and hoping he can emit the same. The revelation of being something more than human is still something he's trying to wrap his head around, having spent the bulk of his life simply being his father's son. He doesn't want to lose that connection between them, especially since the similarities he retains to Jeralt are few and far between. But if there's any way he can honor him and remember him, he would.
His father, more than everyone, wanted him to find someone he loves as deeply as he had loved his mother. If not for the circumstances surrounding his birth, they could have been happier together for longer. Byleth has a lot he still resents Rhea for, but killing her -taking vengeance- it wouldn't solve anything.
All he can do now is honor his father's last wish and savor this, hoping they'll find one another again when they return home. That even if they forget this memory, they won't forget how it made them feel. ]
It is. All I want is to know that you accept me as I really am. No more lies or words unspoken.
[ He has nothing left to hide from him, and hopefully, Dimitri feels the same. ]
Can we celebrate your birthday properly now? Stay. Eat with me.